FINALLY THE EVENT

[united-mods.livejournal.com]

WELCOME TO THE RELIC CASTLE

I shall be your guide and snarky narrator - replying to most comments with a bit of humour - acting as your Game Master for this adventure though this castle. The goal? To explore and find the Dark Stone. There are seven stories, and you will need to get to the bottom. Please note that if we don't wrap this up by Halloween, the Pokemonfication event will still be happening.

How this is gonna work? There's gonna be comments down there. When somebody solves the floor, then the next floor will go up. Simple? I sure hope so!

Comments

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

[Man, learning alien culture is strange.]

I think you and Nepetron are the only aliens I've seen here, though there's this one other kid who knows you guys. We just texted each other, though, so I guess I just kinda presumed that she's a troll, too? D'you know some kid named Jade?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

[He thinks the same of human culture.]

No, Jade's a human just like you.

[Pause, there's something that's been bothering him for a while now.]

And why do you keep callin that kitty cat shipper cave girl Nepetron?

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Gotcha. Jade's a human, and you 'n Nepetron are trolls.

[Paprika blinks innocuously, having thought that she was using the right name all the while. Nepeta's never bothered to correct her, for whatever reason.]

Isn't that her name? Or something like that, anyways?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

Exactly. You're finally understanding it.

[Under normal circumstances he wouldn't mind, but he just likes correcting you since you're a human.]

No, it's Nepeta.

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

[Yay for her!]

Whoops. She never said anything, so I kinda just thought that was right.

[Alright, let's see here...]

So we've got Jade the human who knows about trolls and all that jazz, Nepeta the troll, and...?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

Unlike her there are some who make sure they're correct.

[And since he's a troll of royal blood, Eridan believes he's right all the time.]

And what? [He sort of forgot that he never introduced himself.]

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Aw, she's a cute kid, though.

[Not that she can tell, though.]

Uh, and you, kiddo?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

Then our definitions of 'cute' are very different.

[Pause.] I knew that. It's Eridan, Eridan Ampora.

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

[She shrugs.]

Culture clash?

[For a moment, she moves like she's going to shake his hand or something, since he seems like the kind of kid who wants people to treat him like an adult, but stops, figuring that's probably some crazy alien faux pas or something.]

Right, Eridan.

[Hopefully, she didn't botch the pronunciation too badly there.]

I'm Paprika--y'know, like the spice?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

No, just common sense.

[He wasn't expecting her to get his name exactly right on the first time, so for now it'll do until in the future he corrects her some more.]

No, I'm not aware of this 'Paprika'.

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

[Gosh, this kid is a snoot. ...Kind of like her brother at that age, actually.]

Oh, well, it's just stuff you put on food to make it spicy, but I guess you guys just sorta eat it all raw?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

[At least it can't get worse. Or can it?]

Sure, let's go with that.

[There's not that much cooking to be done, but they do have some processed foods and drinks.]

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

[Hopefully not.]

So, uh, did you just get here?

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

[Only time will really tell.]

Well what does it look like?

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Looks to me like you've got a bad case of grumpy gills, bro.

[Actually, does he even have gills? Whatever, he looks like a fish, so it's all good.]

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

I have nothing of the sort.

[Actually, he does. Sea dwellers are weird when compared to other trolls.]

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Iunno, you seem like a pretty grumpy kid to me.

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

And you seem like a stupid human to me.

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Aw, cold, bro.

[This might have made for a more effective insult if she wasn't already pretty aware that she's not the brightest crayon in the box.]

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

Maybe so, but you should greatful that I'm even takin the time to talk to you.

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

D'you, like, have super-important ocean troll stuff to do? 'Cause I just thought you and Nepeta were bros and that you'd wanna get a pointer in her direction, but if not, I can go find my group and let you do your troll stuff.

[This is the point where she belatedly realizes the rest of Team Social Ineptitude is nowhere to be seen. Oops.]

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

Of course! I have a special duty to do back in my world. Or at least I did, before it got fuckin destroyed. Like I said before, us royal trolls don't mingle with commoners.

[Except they totally do and he's a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to that.]

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Woah, wait, you're a prince now? And Nepeta didn't say anything about you guys' planet getting blown up or whatever.

[He seems a little young to be a full-out king. Also, the only acceptable way for a planet to be destroyed is via explosion. Nothing else is cool enough.]

[caligulatrainer.livejournal.com]

Technically. More aristocratic than anything else. She probably didn't because it didn't come up.

[It was basically bludgeoned by comets repeatedly, is that cool?]

[noplaidshirt.livejournal.com]

Oh, so like, Duke Eridan of Fishytrollness?

[EVEN COOLER.]

But, uh, sorry about your planet, man.